Revelation

So I've been lacking a little in motivation to write and update the blog...

this is partially due to the fact that I feel inadequate when reading other blogs because (for instance) thebloggess.com does things with words and taxidermy that are simply unrealistic for me to achieve. And although the hyperboleandahalf writer has taken a bit of a hiatus from writing... she'll be back and the world will be waiting.

These gals unknowingly are my mentors / my role models, and the standard I look to for success... and you are welcome to start shamelessly following their every move as well.

HOWEVER, yesterday I had an epiphany. I'm apparently very sensitive about the topic of vegetables.

I should have known... just the other day I was talking to my coworker Alisha (with about 65% more raw emotion than necessary) about NOT counting vegetables into your daily calories. Who feels passionately about veggie calories?

So I should have seen this next conversation coming... Hailey didn't. My friend Hailey and I were talking calories (the bachelorette is over, what else are we supposed to talk about).

Hailey: "So how many calories do you think were in those scrambled eggs."

Me: "250 tops:

Hailey: "Even with the vegetables?"

Me: "Vegetable calories don't count"

Hailey: "All calories count, I'm counting them anyway."

Me: (obviously losing touch with reality) "No, the reward for eating vegetables is not having to count them. You eat them so you don't have to count them. Your body takes so much energy processing them that they end up spending more calories than they are composed of. Vegetables are so packed with fiber that most of the calories aren't absorbed. Small bug microbes in your body transfer all of the energy contained in vegetables into you muscles slowly turning them bionic. When you eat vegetables you automatically get a six pack like Ryan Lockte. Vegetables are all Danell Leyva eats. Vegetables make Oprahs hair so full and vibrant. Because of the balanced growth of vegetables across the world the polarized axises assist in the earths orbit.

... basically the further I got into my soap box rant / love proclamation for vegetables, the further I got from any facts resembling truth.

Hailey: (blinking a couple of times in disbelief) "Well I'm going to go ahead and count them"

Me: "IF YOU COUNT THEM OUTLOUD I WILL GO BAT S* CRAZY!!!"

... and thats the first time I knew... I had a dysfunctional relationship with edible plants.

and Hailey is still going to count vegetable calories.