Chocolate the Duck

In commemoration of this being the first friday of my blog I'm going to relate one of my favorite stories. The story of Chocolate the Duck (based solely off of 100% true events).

When I was younger I was not the most agile young person in the neighborhood. I had features more similar to the pillsbury dough boy than a ballerina which aided in my lack of coordination. Because of my stature, while every other 7 year old girl was naming their pets after disney princesses, I named ALL of my pets after food (and not healthy food, eventually I had a rabbit named carrots but that was years later and a complete fluke).

At some point my parents decided that they would enrich their children's lives by raising baby ducks from eggs and letting us discover how that whole process works. Essentially this was a great idea (remember we have a barn in our backyard which made us sort of believe we lived on a farm).



All of the ducks hatched and I automatically liked one more than all of the others. It was light brown so naturally I named it chocolate (not even a specific kind of chocolate) ... just chocolate (please note that jasmine from aladin is also brown and a disney princess... had I not been a little fattie I MIGHT have made that connection).



Because chocolate was my favorite duck and a little slower than the other ducks I always walked with him in the back of the duck line on the way to their makeshift pond (my turtle shaped sandbox)



One day on the way to the sandbox I stepped on chocolate and by a combination of my lack of coordination and sheer mass I squished chocolate and he died.

Later on that night I wrote in my little journal (verbatim): "Today was a heartbreaking day, my pet duck died."

I did NOT take responsibility for my actions. Not even in my journal!! I guess most killers don't... poor chocolate

face of a killer in spandex: